Raising Self Confidence

This past weekend I was in Hampton, VA for my Mary Kay Career Conference. I had an awesome time and , as usual, I had an epiphany about some things. It is also good to have some self reflection and process emotions. I learned about myself and I wanted to share that with you all. I hope you learn some things about yourself as well.

At the luncheon I earned

As I’ve mentioned time and time again on my blog, I have been in this business since the age of 18. Starting off still in high school meant starting off learning about this business as I was still learning about myself. So then in 2013 I had reached one of the highest levels in my business, Sales Director. This is the top 1% of the company. But after a year I had to step down from that position and my confidence was rocked. It felt like failure and i was super hard on myself. It took me a while to even want to get back into that position because my mindset wasn’t right. And then when I did start trying it seemed difficult. Then I was told by a mentor that if I’ve done it once I can do it again. It was all in my mind! I had the skills I just had to believe in myself.

So as of July 2018 I am a Sales Director again! But then I started to feel another confidence issue rising up. I was 30 at the time and there were ladies on my team who were older than me and seemed more polished and put together than me. My thoughts turned to how can I lead this wonderful group of ladies? So I shrunk myself and started acting as if I wasn’t the leader. I cheered them on from the sidelines.

But that brings us back to this mist recent conference I attended. The number one director at this conference filled with hundreds of women was a 27 years old woman. It felt inspiring to see that! So when she asked for questions at the end of one of our trainings I stood up to ask her about my dilemma of not feeling big enough to lead. She gave some great pieces of advice and here they are:

1. Wear things that make you feel confident i.e. a certain suit, a certain hairstyle, etc

2. Pray for belief

3. Hitch your wagon to someone with more belief (Live off of their believe until you have your own)

It was such an eye opener to see that I had not been feeling like a leader so I had not been leading my team. And that doesn’t help anyone involved. So my new mantra in life is “If you have the skills, don’t let your emotions get in the way.” No longer will I allow my feelings to make it seem that I am not worthy of the position I worked hard to be in. Do you sometimes deal with doubt or low self confidence? How do you deal with it? Please comment below with your tips and other comments. And don’t forget to follow my blog by pressing the button at the bottom of the page.

In My Shoes Blog Series

For the month of October, and maybe a little longer, I’m going to be doing a blog series called “In My Shoes” I have an idea of sharing the lives of different bloggers all across the world and the different traditions, issues we faces, etc. I feel that a major problem facing America (and maybe other countries as well) is that we all stay in our corners and we don’t know other people’s cultures. I feel there would be more empathy if we understood each other. So that is the main purpose of this blog series I will be doing. Each week I want to do a different story about a different blogger in a different part of the world or different culture than mine. I want this to be done in love so there will be no hatred coming from me. And if won’t be tolerated in the comments. To kick this series off I’m going to write a little bit about myself. Next week it will be a different blogger from another country and/or culture.

Having to write about myself reminds me of filling out a dating profile online, which I happen to have quite a bit of experience in. It always feels awkward and like you have nothing to say although when you really think about, everyone’s life is interesting to someone. I think that because there is someone in the world who lives completely different than me and would appreciate to know about my regular life. At least I hope so because that’s what I’m about to do!

I am a 30 year old straight, single woman from northern Virginia in America. I have two businesses, Mary Kay and a videography business. And I also work part time at my church and I am a unit manager for my mother’s business. If you asked me what I would be doing at 30 when I was a child I don’t think this was it. I’m sure I thought I’d be married by now but that hasn’t been in my cards yet. And growing up I wanted to be a writer. I’m not too far away from that now doing videography. But I wanted to strictly be a poet. I loved writing poetry and still do. But I soon realized that I would not be able to make a living only doing that so I then took some journalism classes. But that seemed too competitive and strict for me. But all that changed when in my senior year I took a videography class and realized this blended my love of being creative and my love of writing. That’s how I ended up in this field.

Another thing that has affected who I am today is the college I went to for undergrad. It was an HBCU called Virginia State University. HBCU stands for historically black college or university. It is a list of schools that were created so that African American people could go to college back in the day when we weren’t allowed in at other schools. My high school was predominantly white so coming to this almost all black school taught me so much about myself and my history. If you want to learn more about that, read my blog post on this very subject.

To quickly wrap this up, the last big part of my life I’d like to discuss is my religious side. Although I don’t like using that word because I like to focus more on my relationship with God than anything else. I am a Christian and was raised up that way. I actually brought my parents to the church we attend now because I went to Vacation Bible School with a neighbor and loved it. VBS is basically a time in the summer, usually for a week, where kids and adults get together in different classes and learn about God through different lessons. And the younger kids do crafts as well. My relationship with God has gotten me through a lot of tough times because it feels good knowing you’re not alone and there is someone who you can toss all your burdens too. I respect everyone’s religions or lack thereof though. I would never want someone to tell me I was wrong for the way I think so I don’t do that to others as well.

So that was a walk in my shoes. Did you enjoy it?!?! I would REALLY love any questions or comments you have this week especially since this one is so personal. And if you would like to participate, please fill out this form and we will chat. Also don’t forget to follow my blog by pressing the button at the bottom of the page.