This past weekend I was in Hampton, VA for my Mary Kay Career Conference. I had an awesome time and , as usual, I had an epiphany about some things. It is also good to have some self reflection and process emotions. I learned about myself and I wanted to share that with you all. I hope you learn some things about yourself as well.
As I’ve mentioned time and time again on my blog, I have been in this business since the age of 18. Starting off still in high school meant starting off learning about this business as I was still learning about myself. So then in 2013 I had reached one of the highest levels in my business, Sales Director. This is the top 1% of the company. But after a year I had to step down from that position and my confidence was rocked. It felt like failure and i was super hard on myself. It took me a while to even want to get back into that position because my mindset wasn’t right. And then when I did start trying it seemed difficult. Then I was told by a mentor that if I’ve done it once I can do it again. It was all in my mind! I had the skills I just had to believe in myself.
So as of July 2018 I am a Sales Director again! But then I started to feel another confidence issue rising up. I was 30 at the time and there were ladies on my team who were older than me and seemed more polished and put together than me. My thoughts turned to how can I lead this wonderful group of ladies? So I shrunk myself and started acting as if I wasn’t the leader. I cheered them on from the sidelines.
But that brings us back to this mist recent conference I attended. The number one director at this conference filled with hundreds of women was a 27 years old woman. It felt inspiring to see that! So when she asked for questions at the end of one of our trainings I stood up to ask her about my dilemma of not feeling big enough to lead. She gave some great pieces of advice and here they are:
1. Wear things that make you feel confident i.e. a certain suit, a certain hairstyle, etc
2. Pray for belief
3. Hitch your wagon to someone with more belief (Live off of their believe until you have your own)
It was such an eye opener to see that I had not been feeling like a leader so I had not been leading my team. And that doesn’t help anyone involved. So my new mantra in life is “If you have the skills, don’t let your emotions get in the way.” No longer will I allow my feelings to make it seem that I am not worthy of the position I worked hard to be in. Do you sometimes deal with doubt or low self confidence? How do you deal with it? Please comment below with your tips and other comments. And don’t forget to follow my blog by pressing the button at the bottom of the page.
Change…it’s inevitable! Yet somehow when it comes I’m either surprised or sad so I start to procrastinate on in hopes of slowing it down. Is this healthy? Of course not lol. But awareness is the first step right? I certainly hope so. Because I am now attempting to better handle transitions in life because I have plenty of them. And if change is going to be a constant, then why not be a master at it.
I think my main resistance to change has been fear, fear of the unknown. I can sometimes be controlling but you can’t control change. It just happens to you. I like clearly knowing what is ahead of me so I can have a game plan but that’s often not the case for life. But I started working on this issue when I was in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and I learned some something called radical acceptance. That phrase basically means that we can’t change certain things about life, so we have to learn to accept it, completely.
Some ways to improve your radical acceptance levels are being present in the moment (finding the good things and focusing on that), being mindful of your emotions and not letting them take over, and improving the moment with things like prayer, meditation, or some source of self soothing. I know it can be hard to remember tips like these when you’re in the moment. I often do myself. But what I do find helpful is being aware of my surroundings and my emotions. If I sense change is coming and I sense my emotions are not helping the situation, I have to do something to change that. And that’s when I start reaching into my DBT skills.
I hope you guys gained something from this! My blog is all about this thing called life being a group effort. So if you have any tips on how you deal with change, please write them in the comments. And don’t forget to follow my blog by pressing the button at the bottom of the page.
So as is written in my bio, I have been a business owner with Mary Kay for 13 years now. I’ve been to all sorts of conferences and this one is DEFINITELY at the top of the list. It’s been in existence 24 years now and created by a powerful woman named Angie O. I have now attended this conference about four times and it just keeps getting better and better! I wanted to share some of my notes with you all because a lot of what’s taught can be used no matter what career field you’re in. It was about transforming your life into something better!
Are you committed or just interested?
This is an interesting to ask yourself every time you have a goal in life. You have to not just want that thing to happen. You have got to commit to doing what it takes to MAKE it happen.
Don’t allow your memory to affect your future
Often times in life, especially as we grow older, we can be deeply affected by things that have happened in our past. And because of that it makes it harder to try that same thing again. But the future is filled with possibilities and your past is not.
Make a goal so big that you have to become a better person to even achieve it
We should always be striving to improve in life and one way to do that is through choosing goals in life that force us to be better.
My hope is that at least one of these nuggets I gained from attending this conference has struck a cord with you and you’ll take that and run! I’d love to hear your thoughts on this so PLEASE comment. And don’t forget to follow my blog by pressing the button at the bottom of the page.